Oh My where did the time go? How can I be almost 50? Do you realize that 50 is half a century? A century is a long time and that would make me getting old. Why don't I feel old? My brain can remember events from high school like they were yesterday. They don't seem 30 years old.
It seems like only yesterday I married the love of my life and we just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. My first born child was so tiny and precious and he will be 30 in just a week, REALLY!! My Mema has been gone for over 25 years, I still remember going to her apartment like it was yesterday. My Nanna, Poppie and Daddy have been gone for a decade. Didn't I just have Thanksgiving Dinner at Nanna's house last year? I can still smell the Turkey and Dressing as I come through the door in the garage that squeaks when you open it. Some other family has been living in that house for years.
So now that I am almost 50 I have to think about marks I have made on this world. What have I done? I am not sure. I am fat and finally have decided to change that. Well at least I hope I do. That is a topic for later. I am a paramedic and I would hope that I have made a difference somewhere along the line. I have no outstanding accomplishments along the way as a mother. I never got Mother of the Year or PTA president. I did raise two kids that have grown up to be fine young men, at least that's what people tell me. As a wife goes, I think there are more days that Woody wants to kill me than not. He just doesn't want to have to cook his own dinner. The only person who loves me unconditionally is Doodle. (She is our dog, just don't tell anyone she is a dog.) She loves me unconditionally unless someone has food at which time she is their new BFF.
Isn't this the time in my life where I am supposed to be thinking about retirement? Yep I will be lucky if I can find a greeter job at Walmart and work until I am 80. I do have a nest egg. I found a birds nest with an egg in it in a tree the other day and I thought I would save it for a rainy day. This is the part of our lives that we are supposed to take trips, buy whatever we like and not have to worry. I am still excited to wake up and find the lights on and food in the fridge. It is a major accomplishment when I have a box of Hamburger Helper in the pantry and a pound of hamburger in the freezer on payday.
I know there is a God and I know that he shows himself in my life on a daily basis. I just didn't know that he had such a sense of humor. He doesn't speak to me in the profound ways that other talk about. He usually just shows up when I least expect it and says, "I told you so." I do talk to him and I usually ask him, "Why me?" and that is when I hear this uncontrollable laughter. I try to read the Bible everyday and I don't always like where it leads me because it usually leads me to places where God says his famous, "I told you so".
So here I am Getting it Together at 50. I hope that you will follow me on this journey and let me know that I am not alone.